21/06/2021 Personal Values & Integrity Index

Day Fifty.

Wow, fifty days hey.  I don't think I've ever done anything like this for this long, I'm actually quite proud of myself.

You see, usually, at virtually everything I give up and get bored.  Don't get me wrong, I have nearly given up on this and got bored on at least a few occasions, but this time around, I actually stuck to it.

Well done me.

On a slightly different note, for some reason I think I've been slightly deluding myself about my relationship status to the mother of my kids for the past few years, and today (this afternoon actually) I've really, finally realised that we are no longer in a relationship.

I'm not sure why my body/mind has not picked up on this but finally now, it has.

First feeling was fear, second feeling was unknowing, third feeling is excitement.

There's a fuck load of change that is going to happen over the next 6 months to year. Living arrangements, travel arrangements, work arrangements and all that shit and it's actually quite scary, but, deep in there there is and excitement too.

Some things that I've learned from my years of reading self help books is that fear is only ever a thought about a future event, never in the present.

And as my dad famously sung - which has subsequently become the name of my company - "it's always now"!

Here, here Dad.  I love you, I miss you, and thank you for looking after me.  You were the best Dad I could ever hope for.

Tasks for tomorrow, to be better than I was today:

Learn about moving on after a relationship.

- Rowan.